Monday, May 08, 2006

Last night I was rereading Proverbs 31, and was thinking, in particular, about verse 12, which reads "As long as she lives she does him good, and never harm". It reminded me of a piece of wisdom I heard somewhere (I have no memory of where), that, no matter how frustrated or angry a wife/mother is, she should never speak poorly of her family, but praise their good points when speaking with others. Since I was told this I started to notice just how often women criticise their spouses to friends and family. Sometimes it even turns into a bizarre competition of trying to prove that her own spouse is more inconsiderate or lazy than the others'.

Marriage needs to be a safe place, where you know that you're loved in spite of your flaws. It is sad to see that women can lay out the flaws of the man they are supposed to cherish for all to see. What a wife says about her husband colours the opinions of others. Complaining about him diminishes him in the eyes of the listener, and really causes him harm. Of course, I wouldn't advocate remaining silent in a truly bad relationship, it is vital to seek the assistance of others in extreme situations, but I am saying it's not right to complain about the small aggravations that exist in every marriage from time to time. Dwelling on the little things rapidly turns them into major issues, but by praising your husband to friends you are keeping in mind his good points, and therefore strengthening your marriage.


Kelly said...

It doesn't sound nice to hear women criticizing their husbands and yet it is very common.

My husband read this for family worship during the week:

"There is a sacred circle around every family which should be preserved...The heart of the wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wifes faults. Never should any indulge in a joke at the expense of the others feelings. Never should either husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others.. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness and trust." -The Adventist Home

Nice to know someone else feels the same way about this issue!

Emma said...

That's a really nice quote, Kelleigh. Thanks for sharing it!